4-Year-Old Becomes Youngest Harvard Graduate

Future Fake News - May 12, 2048

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Caleb Stapleton has become the youngest person to graduate from Harvard University at the age of four years old. Valedictorian of his class, Caleb received two Bachelor of Science degrees, double-majoring in Physics and Electrical Engineering with minors in Philosophy and Comparative Literature. He also wrote for the Harvard Lampoon, sang a cappella, and was on the national debate team.

Caleb was a CRISPR baby, genetically designed by his parents to maximize his IQ. At the age of two, he received a Neuralink brain-computer interface (BCI) implant to further increase his intelligence by expanding his memory and processing power, downloading the full extent of human knowledge into his cerebral cortex. Within months he scored a perfect score on the SAT and was admitted to Harvard, where he graduated in just three semesters.

Caleb says he plans to attend both medical and law school at Harvard simultaneously while also accepting a job at Goozon to help create artificial general intelligence in his spare time. He hopes to unite relativity and quantum mechanics to formulate a Theory of Everything by the age of twelve so he can then retire from academia and focus on his true passion: writing for a television sitcom in Hollywood.