Achieve ‘Instant Zen’ with New Meditation App for Neuralink
Future Fake News - September 8, 2037
Instazen is a new mindapp for Neuralink that instantly puts you into a deep meditative state on demand whenever you want. There is zero effort needed on your part. You can instantly achieve the enlightenment of a Zen monk who spent decades in silent meditation—and you can do it all while multitasking!
Instazen connects to your Neuralink implant to gain full control of your nervous system. Our AI will override your natural reaction to all negative external stimuli to keep you completely calm, no matter what. Instazen is scientifically proven to reduce stress by 100% in just two seconds.*
Instazen can also help you relax your mind, improve your focus, and get the best sleep ever. Join millions attaining quick and easy enlightenment with Instazen today. Try it free for 14 days and cancel any time.** Get serenity now with Instazen.
* The moment you stop using Instazen your worry, distraction, stress, anxiety, insomnia, and existential dread will return tenfold.
** If you do not cancel your Instazen free trial, you will be charged 1 bitcoin for your first month. Each subsequent month increases in price by another .5 bitcoin.