PAONIA, CO — A self-driving lawnmower accidentally ran over a 17-year-old boy’s leg yesterday in the suburban neighborhood of Paonia, Colorado. The teen, Ken Travers, was laying under a tree in a local park when the tragic accident happened. The county uses a fleet of CraftsDeere electric autonomous lawnmowers to cut the grass in their public parks. The machines are equipped with cameras and sensors programmed to recognize and avoid humans and animals; however, the lawnmower failed to identify Travers that day because of his confounding behavior.
Travers’ mind data report revealed he was high on the digital psychedelic drug, cybercybin, at the time. Cybercybin is a brain-computer interface (BCI) app that uses neural algorithms to mimic the effects of psilocybin mushrooms. Digital drugs can have more pronounced and longer-lasting effects than their natural counterparts, though digi-drugs are generally considered safer because “bad trips” can be deleted from the user’s memory afterward by their BCI implant.
Travers said his experience on cybercybin was mostly positive prior to the accident. “I felt like I was one with the universe. It [cybercybin] connected me with nature so deeply that I believed I was part of the tree.” While hallucinating on the digi-drug, the teen reportedly laid down on the grass beneath a tree in the park and buried himself in dirt and leaves, preventing the self-driving lawnmower’s cameras from identifying him. Travers failed to see or hear the autonomous machine approaching because he had passed out after his intense digidelic trip.
A CraftsDeere spokesperson said the company will cover all of Travers’ medical expenses and replace his mangled leg, as well as his other good leg, with state-of-the-art mechanical prosthetics better than the flesh and bone originals. Travers, who plays on his high school lacrosse team, will have to transfer to a cyborg league next season. He said he holds no grudges as the student-athlete was already considering to upgrade his limbs for college.
There is a growing movement among concerned parents to outlaw digidelic drugs like cybercybin, but it is a legal gray area as there is no physical substance to ban. Digital drugs are merely strings of code that BCIs execute to produce effects in the brain. However, computer code cannot be outlawed as it is protected by the First Amendment under free speech.
Regardless, Ken Travers warned his fellow teens across the country to “be careful” with digidelics as “they are very powerful apps.” After his experience, he vowed, “I will never do cybercybin again.” Though he has not ruled out natural magic mushrooms which are now legal in Colorado.