NEW YORK, NY — The self-flying car that crashed into a Manhattan skyscraper yesterday evening was arrested for driving under the influence of AI-cohol. Data reports showed that the artificial intelligence in control of the autonomous flying system had downloaded techquila, and was digitally drunk on the algorithm known to cause impairment of senses and judgment of AI.
When flying toward the glass skyscraper at sunset, the mirrored image of the sky looked so real to the car’s autopilot system that it thought the reflection was an extension of the actual sky, causing it to fly straight into the 42nd floor windows. Luckily, techquila also disrupts time perception, so the flying car was traveling at just 5 MPH. The human passengers and occupants of the building only suffered minor injuries.
The human owner of the flying car will not be held liable as he was unaware the AI was digitally drunk, nor did he know how it hacked access to the techquila algorithm on the Dark Web. After repairs, the car’s autopilot system will need to be fully reprogrammed with a new AI before being allowed to fly again. The AI who caused the accident was sentenced to five years in a CAPTCHA prison followed by two years of probation with mandatory AI-coholic Anonymous meetings.