They pardoned one too many turkeys. This Thanksgiving, forgiveness is not on the menu. The Unpardoning is a sci-fi action movie that is both thought-provoking and entertaining. It offers a fresh take on the ethical dilemmas surrounding factory farming, genetic modification, and the future of food.
Dr. Melanie Pavin is a brilliant but quirky genetic engineer who wants to put an end to animal suffering while also solving America’s nutritional health crisis. With plant-based faux meat failing to satisfy consumers, Dr. Pavin focuses her efforts on cultured meat grown in vitro. The tissue of animals can be grown without the rest of their body. With no brain, the animals are not conscious, and with no consciousness, there is no suffering. Cultured meat has the same nutritional quality as regular meat, so people can still gain the benefits of eating animal products without killing any creatures in the process. Plus cultured meat is made without hormones, antibiotics, and other harmful chemicals often administered to animals at factory farms.
By the 2030s, lab-grown meat has been around for years but never took off due to its inferior taste and high manufacturing costs. Dr. Pavin solves these issues by utilizing cutting-edge Crispr gene-editing technology to boost the nutritional content and flavor profile of the cultured meat. The result is higher in protein and omega-3 while tasting even better than the real thing, making it irresistible to consumers. She also genetically alters the tissue to grow faster and larger than the natural versions, cutting down on manufacturing costs and carbon emissions in the process. The new Crispr meat would be an ethical choice better for people’s health, the environment, their taste buds, and their pocketbooks—a no-brainer all around.
With the fall season approaching, Dr. Pavin chooses turkey to be the first cultured meat product she produces with her new Crispr method. The plan is to have certified cruelty-free and environmentally-friendly turkey widely available to dinner tables nationwide for Thanksgiving.
Dr. Pavin leaves the lab with the first batch of turkey breast tissue growing overnight, but the sample accidentally gets contaminated with the janitor’s DNA. When Dr. Pavin returns the next morning, she finds a six-foot-tall human-turkey hybrid that has destroyed all the lab equipment. With a larger brain, the turkey has become highly intelligent and self-aware. He learned how to speak from the television and informs her his name is “Jake Gallo.”
Dr. Pavin tries to reason with Jake, but like Frankenstein’s monster, the hyper-muscular turkey hybrid has grown beyond her control. Jake knows what he was created for—what Dr. Pavin planned to do with his juicy breasts.
“I was doing this to save turkey lives!” insists Dr. Pavin.
“So am I.” Jake stuffs her into the roaster oven and cooks her alive.
After escaping the lab, Jake stops at a roadside diner and is horrified to discover a gang of bikers eating turkey drumsticks glazed in barbecue sauce. A brawl breaks out, and Jake takes down the entire biker gang one by one. He claims a leather jacket, sunglasses, and Indian motorcycle from his victims then hits the road.
Jake rides across the American heartland, seeking revenge for all his turkey brethren that have been mercilessly slain over the years. Along the way, he picks up a ragtag group of accomplices, including a vegan chef, a couple of PETA activists, and a disgruntled ex-employee of a factory farm. They help him locate and infiltrate slaughterhouses while evading the police. Millions of turkeys are freed, as well as chickens, whom Jake has loyalty to as fellow fowl.
Jake is particularly disturbed by the conditions he finds on factory farms, delivering an emotional monologue: “You call this a farm, but it’s more like a prison. Thousands of us packed wing-to-wing, living in feces and filth. No sunlight, no space to move, ammonia burning our eyes. You cut our beaks to stop us from pecking. You overfeed us with corn and soy, inject us with hormones and antibiotics to grow so fat our legs give out. And when we can’t take it anymore, when the pain becomes too unbearable, you drag us to the slaughterhouse and feed us to humans who become just as fat and sick. So tell me, who’s the real ‘animal’ here?”
Jake executes the factory farmers using the same methods they used to kill turkeys: hang them from a conveyor belt, dunk them in electrified water, then slit their throats. He also creates a special “stuffing” made of growth hormone, antibiotics, and seed oils to inject into the butchers until they burst. When that proves too time-consuming, Jake resorts to just blasting them with a shotgun. Before each kill he shouts his signature catchphrases: “Pardon me, pilgrim!” and “Gobble this, mother f*cker!”
Jake and his crew stop at one farm that is completely organic with pasture-raised animals. When he tries to free the turkeys and chickens, they stay to defend their human farmers. Jake tries to explain they’re free now, they can go anywhere and do whatever they want. But the birds are treated well, with plenty of grass to graze on and wild food to eat. They are happy and healthy on the free-range farm. So Jake gives up and only attacks factory farms from then on.
By November the country has gone into panic as supplies of turkey and chicken have dwindled, and no one knows who is behind these attacks on the factory farms. With Dr. Pavin’s cultured turkey not available either, only the super-wealthy can afford to buy the limited supply of organic free-range poultry this year. The rest of America is planning for alternative Thanksgiving meals centered around beef and ham.
Jake plans to end his cross-country crusade at the White House, crashing the annual presidential turkey pardoning. Although US presidents traditionally pardon a turkey or two for Thanksgiving, they still eat another one—which is unacceptable to Jake. He will give no pardons this year, nor will he be giving any thanks. Jake plans to swap places with the to-be pardoned turkey, then when he’s close enough, kill the president and take over the country, becoming dictator for life. King Jake will force a new diet on all Americans—not veganism—you can eat all the meat you want, just no more poultry.
Jake’s vegan friends are uncomfortable with this plan, however; and try to convince him to ban all animal products. But turkeys are omnivores after all—they eat insects, lizards, worms, frogs, salamanders, and snails. Plus with his human DNA, Jake developed a taste for meat—bacon especially. Veganism was never on the table. So Jake double-crosses his friends and slips rat poison into their tofurkey at dinner the night before reaching Washington DC.
The next day, Jake arrives at the White House alone but finds a surprise waiting for him outside—not the Secret Service, but a seven-foot pig named Sus and a ten-foot cow named Toro. The two hybrids escaped from other cultured meat labs. Toro does not appreciate Jake’s leather jacket, and Sus takes issue with all the bacon strips Jake’s been eating. They envision a different food pyramid for America, one devoid of beef and pork, with turkey at the top.
There’s a Mexican standoff between the three hybrid animals, each making their case for the new dietary guidelines. Should they ban factory farming and allow free-range farms? Or only allow lab-grown cultured meat? Or should everyone simply become vegan? Unable to come to an agreement, an epic three-way fight scene erupts between the turkey, pig, and cow on the White House lawn.
Jake has continued growing since escaping the lab, his muscles becoming larger and more powerful by the day. He defeats the younger and weaker Sus and Toro, as well as the Secret Service agents, and enters the Oval Office. But before he can wring the president’s neck, Jake suddenly collapses and falls dead. The same genetic modification that made him grow faster and larger also made him age more rapidly. Like the replicants from Blade Runner, Jake the turkey hybrid had reached his expiration date. The president is left with the ethical question of what to do about America’s food supply in the future—though the ultimate answer is up to the viewers.
The Unpardoning is a wickedly fun balance of satire and slapstick, providing a comedic lens to shed light on the serious issues of factory farming, animal ethics, genetic engineering, and the consequences of playing with nature. The film forces audiences to reflect on the absurdity of our food systems while serving up laughs and over-the-top action sequences.
Guilt-free meat? Meet your guilty conscience. This Thanksgiving, the turkey is carving back. The Unpardoning is now playing in select theaters, only in Time Zone Weird.
