Universal Basic Marriage: Government Uses AI to Match-Make Couples
Future Fake News - January 9, 2036
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services officially launched the “Universal Basic Marriage” (UBM) initiative, a voluntary federal program aimed at reversing the nation’s declining birth rates by facilitating AI-orchestrated partnerships. The opt-in service targets digitally immersed Zoomers who don’t know how to initiate real-world relationships, as well as regretful older Millennials who never settled down. The UBM program analyzes personal data then deploys AI agents to virtually “date” on behalf of users, simulating entire relationships to predict real-world success before a single in-person meeting occurs.
Anyone who opts into the Universal Basic Marriage program is guaranteed to find a spouse within a month. If the AI agents determine potential compatibility, the couple is automatically declared married by the state and given a house to live in. Furthermore, they are granted a Universal Basic Income for each child they have together.
UBM’s core technology is the “SoulSync AI,” designed to find a potential soul mate for every human being on the planet. SoulSync begins by scanning personal data, including social media posts, AI chatbot logs, text messages, emails, search history, Netflix queues, Spotify playlists, podcast subscriptions, and other private data. But the true innovation lies in the AI agents, digital avatars customized to embody each user’s personality, quirks, and values. These AI agents “meet” in a virtual reality environment where they engage in conversations, dinner dates, long walks on the beach, and multi-year relationships accelerated through advanced modeling. These simulations are encrypted using zero-knowledge proofs, remain user-controlled, and all the data is purged post-match.
One Gen-Z couple who went through the UBM beta program, Connor (38) and Melanie (36), recently gave birth to their second child. “I always wanted a relationship, but never had the time or money to date people,” Melanie said. “Time and money that would be wasted if we weren’t a match.”
“Growing up with the internet, my generation was so online, we didn’t know how to talk to people IRL,” said Connor.
“With SoulSync, it was like love at first sight,” said his wife, Melanie. “The AI found the one person in the world who truly understands me and meshes with my vibes.”
“Not that we’re exactly the same,” added Connor.
“But our differences complement each other,” they said together.
Another UBM success story is a recently married Millennial couple, Kelly (51) and Phil (52). Kelly was a social justice activist cat lady from Brooklyn who thought all men were toxic, while Phil was a Texas-based incel who posted misogynistic rants online under an anonymous account. Neither had ever been married or even had a serious relationship as they entered their 50s. Feeling lonely, depressed, and full of regrets, they enrolled in the Universal Basic Marriage program.
The couple’s AI agents clashed at first over ideological differences, but as the simulations progressed, the polarization fizzled. AI-Kelly and AI-Phil realized they didn’t even believe half of what they said. They thought they hated the opposite sex, but they just hated what they didn’t have—love. Heated political arguments evolved into deep discussions on shared interests like 90s nostalgia, early aughts pop culture, and making fun of Boomers. The AI agents simulated everything: holidays, conflicts, even parenting scenarios. SoulSync AI predicted a 92% long-term compatibility score, and the couple was instantly declared married.
Kelly and Phil met for the first time in their new house. “It was a bit awkward at first, but we powered through it,” Phil said. “We knew the risks were low because our AI agents had already lived an entire lifetime together,” said Kelly. Two years later, they’ve never been happier.
Barring some unseen advances in fertility technology, the couple will be unable to have children of their own, but they are looking into adoption. Kelly and Phil credit the UBM program for their late-blooming joy in life: “Better late than never.”
The HHS hopes that the majority of Universal Basic Marriage participants will be younger couples still in their reproductive primes. With US birth rates hovering below 1.5 per woman, UBM may be the key to prevent complete population collapse in the future. Open enrollment in the match-making program has begun nationwide via a dedicated app. Sign up to see if AI can sync you with your soul mate before it’s too late.